There’s a persistent debate if AK-47 is really genuine russian design, how it’s technically different from (or similar to) Hugo Schmeisser’s StG 44. Knowing how stuff works is good indeed, but it’s far from enough to get the full-scale picture, especially when politics is involved THAT much (no need to explain what AK-47 means for ruskies). One needs to understand how stuff is made, the way things work in a country hostile to all things civilized, yet claiming to be a place of origin for such a famous weapon and many other iconic things1. So I’ve decided to translate this article, written by a life-hardened man experienced both in handling guns and blasting crooked russian myths.
The original article has been published in 2011, however, it’s still a very good explanation of AK-47 story and russian ways in general. My comments and notes are in colored italic, as usual.
Here’s really good news: Izhmash factory is on the verge of bankruptcy.
And in all the rumpus, they opened an interesting place right in their dining-room, a cozy and comfy… Money Honey mix club. For non-traditional orientation clientele.
According to Izhevsk info portal data, it’s open at weekend’s nights.
“Lucky Land’s dark mazes are the only place in our town where you can have a private time with your darling, hidden from prying eyes!
Our address:
Izhevsk, Deryabin str, 4
(kitchen No.2, IzMash factory administration territory)
Phone: 8-919-911-33-86, 8-906-817-28-41
WWW: www.mixclub.jimdo.com (archived copy link)”
Some screenshots from their now-defunct page.
So, at night machinery operators and other folks of non-traditional sexual orientation chill out in the mess hall with their bright-eyed partners, and in the daytime simple hard-working guys are taking meals behind the same tables (probably using the same dishes) hoping to get their long-delayed salary at last.
You’ve hit your new low, Russia. That’s your destination, your “code”2.
It’s quite explicable though. For a long time AK-47 has been (and is now) some kind of russian sex symbol. Kinda ruskie dildo. Since russian sexuality is traditionally spiced up with loads of lowlife faggot slang, what else could be fit for AK-47 factory? Stolen wealth brings no luck.
So, non-traditional sexual orientation workers are still making their non-traditional sexual orientation assault rifles at non-traditional sexual orientation factory. And what’s about its creator? Commies could worship their staff sergeant genius Kalashnikov with his 7-grade elementary school education who managed to out-ride distinguished German weapon designers, but German chronicles spoiled all the pleasure.
Look similar, aren’t they? I wonder why…
According to Visier magazine (January 1999 issue), 62-year-old Hugo Schmeisser was taken to Izhevsk by Soviet occupation authorities immediately after the end of the war, together with a group of famous German gunsmiths. All of them have been working for more than 5 years as POWs, however Schmeisser himself, for example, didn’t serve a single day in the 3rd Reich military due to his age. Here, they made an assault rifle for the USSR, which was named “Kalashnikov”. Only in 1952, after its final revisions have been completed, Schmeisser was released home to East Germany where he died surprisingly soon in 1953, under vigilant supervision of Stasi.
By the way, evil russophobes from Vizier also mentioned the following episode. Shortly before Schmeisser’s death, he was directly asked by one of his buddies if he has any relation to AK-47. Schmeisser smiled sadly and said:
“I gave russians several advices.”
A photo from the same magazine shows other German weapon designers who worked in Izhevsk as well: Hugo Schmeisser himself, Karl Barnitzke (chief designer at Gustloff Werke), Oscar Schink (deputy chief designer at BSW), Oscar Bertzold, Dr. Gruner, Chief Technician Schmidt. All of them were famous in foreign weapon industry.
And dashing chief sergeant Kalashnikov before his drawing board. Who is the smartest one? Of course russian genius. He invented AK-47. And what the Germans were doing meanwhile?
Schmeisser’s dossier says: “Provides no technical support. Has a capitalist psychology and decadent influence on other German specialists”. “Refuses to do any R&D work, explaining it by lack of special education and inability to create own designs. Can’t be used anywhere at the factory”.
“The Germans worked in closed factory room, they were writing in sealed notebooks, regularly submitted for inspection. Their task was to improve stamping of motorcycle mufflers and fuel tanks.”
Yeah yeah, blah blah. Bringing them all the way from Germany was definitely worth it.
Vasil Lutyi, chief of Scshurov proving ground testing department, recalls:
“Before coming to my team, Kalashnikov worked in Almaty together with Kazakov. They were trying to design assault rifles and machine-guns, their ready prototypes were sent to GRAU R&D proving grounds. However, none of them were field tested cause they were too crude. So, in contrast to what Kalashnikov is telling in the media, I can say with full responsibility that he created nothing worthy in Kazakhstan. Mikhail Timofeevich is a talented tinkerer, our people call folks like him “he looks at that, he fixes that”. But in his education, only 7 grades of pre-war school, practical knowledge and experience he couldn’t be compared with professional weapon engineers who’ve been equipping our military (Vijsko Ukrainy (Army of Ukraine) 1996, #3-4).
BTW, Vasil Lutyi was sent to GULAG in 1951 with traditional “anti-soviet propaganda” case. Coincidence, huh?
Alexander Zaitsev, a supervisor of engineering team responsible for testing AK prototypes in Kovrov, 1946-47, made another accountable statement:
“Kalashnikov couldn’t do even a draftsman’s job. Technique of projects and calculations is completely foreign to him.”
Once, a chief engineer of Kovrov weapon design department, Alexander Konstantinov, grieved in private talk:
“Kalashnikov will always be the first, cause he’s getting all promotions together with his high-ranked buddies from nomenklatura…”
And another statement, very important one for an expert of his kind:
“Could a nobody sergeant with only 7 grades of school education win a competition against experienced weapon designers without having a certain team with knowledge, talent and power behind his back? I don’t think so, especially considering that first his blueprint has been rejected without any right for revision.
In comparison to other weapon designers Kalashnikov has almost no parts invented and patented by him. There is only one known to us, and even here there were four co-authors. Kalashnikov is not a weapon designer. He is a phony person, dragged up to his fake glory”.
Let’s see what Kalashnikov himself was speaking3.
“My little homeland, the Altai steppe village of Kurya, is spread along the Loktevka River, sixty kilometers away from the Barnaul-Semipalatinsk railway line, so there’s nothing surprising that I first saw a “live” steam locomotive only in 1936, when I turned 17…”
Meanwhile, Wikipedia says:
“In 1930, Kalashnikov’s father and most of his family had their properties confiscated and were deported as kulaks to the village of Nizhnyaya Mokhovaya, Tomsk Oblast.”
In USSR, kolkhoz peasants were not allowed to have passports, ergo move freely and relocate within the country. As both kulak family member and kolkhoz peasant, Kalashnikov had no slightest chance to get out of there legally.
So, teenager Kalashnikov has decided to postpone his perpetual motion machine experiments, learning to copy official seals instead. With used envelopes, he made numerous experiments in his attic workshop. Asked his buddy who worked in local administration office to get him some “unneeded” NKVD papers with commandant’s seal. Finally, he managed to recreate this mighty seal and turn any piece of paper into certificate needed to get the passport. And here comes freedom!
He admitted it himself in one of interviews:
“That’s how I tricked the Soviet authority once, to serve it and the people for my entire life.”
Soviet indeed. Like most of his comrades, Kalashnikov quickly changed his tune when orthodox sect became trendy again, to serve a new authority of putin’s fundamentalist thugs.
That’s the start of his inventions – falsified papers. And then was more…
“Three months of hard work have passed. It looked like we made something impossible. Our first SMG prototype was here, on greased workbench.”
“Recently I’ve managed to get several hundreds of rounds in local military comissariat.”
What’s their name for it? Illegal weapon production. With help of local military comissariat. Where Stalin’s vigilant NKVD was looking? Kulak family member with falsified ID is tinkering with guns, getting ammo from his army buddies. What if he plans to kill comrade Stalin? And no one to rat him out? But cheat, and the cheese will show…
“I didn’t make it to comissariat commander and was arrested by his adjutant’s order”.
And then? Gulag? Nope.
“– There’s an order to deliver you to Kazakhstan Bolshevik communist Party Central Commitee, to Central Committee secretary, comrade Kaishigullov”.
“On the way to military commissariat, by lucky coincidence I met Joseph Nikolaevich Koptev, who worked in railroad General Political Department komsomol before the war started. For several months before I was recruited to the army, I’ve been meeting him at GPD. We were happy to see each other. Unfortunately, Joseph Nikolaevitch had no time to spare – he was hurrying to get on the train, and we couldn’t discuss everything thoroughly. Frankly, I managed to tell him about purpose of my trip to Almaty, that I was going to District Military Commissariat.
After returning from his business trip, Koptev started looking for me. Then he was working in Control Commission of Party Central Committee. He made a phone call to DMC and found out that I was under arrest for “illegal production and storage of firearms”. Then, Koptev went to Central Committee Secretary of Defense Industry Department, and told him about me, about my work and trouble happened to me. Then there was an order to get a creator of SMG and his sample weapon to comrade Kaishigullov.”
No more this bullshit propaganda. It’s already enough. There’s so much lies that one can’t choose what exactly to believe. Lie without a piece of truth, which looks like cheap spy story. Considering his counterfeiting skills, it’s even possible that the real Mikhail Kalashnikov has perished during Battle of Bryansk in 1941.
Kalashnikov’s memoir was written by a professional journalist. A professional one, but untalented in Soviet style, unable to create a gleaming image of weapon inventor. Lack of facts is drowning in loads of commie pathos. Kalashnikov tells live details of making wall newspapers and his impressions of scribing some cheap poetry, but his own inventions are described with boring, bureaucratic stereotypes. As a self-educated enthusiast mechanic, he should have remembered his first success of invention and rationalization. Which ideas he had and why did he decide that he can make a gun better than famous designers? What exactly did he want to improve? There is no answer. Almost no technical details in his memoir, few ones are just formalities. Compare this with memories of real engineers and feel the difference.
The only grain of truth is that Kalashnikov didn’t steal AK-47 design from Schmeisser indeed. He had no sufficient education for that. Schmeisser has invented AK for Kalashnikov and started its serial production. Just like unknown journalist that wrote Kalashnikov’s memoir.
For those “achievements” Kalashnikov saw his own statue of “russian weaponry genius” in Izhevsk.
And another one in Moscow, where drunk ruskie patriots placed genuine StG 44 blueprints shining bright next to their “genius”, later removing it when they sobered up a little.Don’t you feel ashamed, Mikhail Timofeevich, or what’s your real name?
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1. Like Polish vodka, Finnish ushanka, native Siberian pelmeni, Kazakh balalaika and virtually all things considered “genuine russian”.
2. In russian/soviet prison hierarchy, homosexuals are the lowest caste of inmates who do the dirtiest work like cleaning shit buckets. They must use separate tables, kitchenware etc and it’s strictly forbidden for any “righteous” fella to touch their stuff, which is punishable by demotion to the very bottom of prison hierarchy (“zashkvar”, зашквар).
3. In (supposedly) his book named “Notes of the designer-gunsmith” (“Записки конструктора-оружейника”). Available in Russian here.